Archive for the ‘Personal Development’ Category
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
Do you have any idea how detrimental negative thinking is not only to your mental and emotional world, but also your physical world?
Simply put, negative thinking is destructive and it’s essential to avoid negative thoughts as much as possible. These thoughts put a damper on the way we see life in general and the way we view ourselves and others, specifically. For many, it paves the way for a life of depression and anxiety and distances us from loved ones who’d just rather not be around us. I know I don’t like to be around negative energy…
Negative self-talk is the worst. It limits what you can do and forces you to pre-label yourself as a loser. You stop taking chances and constantly set yourself up for failure.
Positive thoughts, in contrast, promote happiness, good health, and result in positive outcomes, while negative thinking produces unhappiness, depression, frustration, and an overall defeatist attitude. Hence, when you avoid negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, you’ll find yourself on the road to leading a happy and healthy life. But it’s not always so easy to avoid negative thoughts, especially for those who’ve always had a defeatist attitude.
The first step to avoiding these gloomy thoughts is identifying them. It’s necessary to begin by listening to yourself. Think about how you view your life and journal your feelings whenever possible. This will allow you to identify the triggers of negative thoughts – school, family conflict, relationship problems. As you become more and more aware of these bad thoughts and why they happen, you can be cognizant about replacing them with more appropriate self-talk or attitudes.
A simple example might be how you react when you’re not feeling well. If you have a pain in your knee, instead of saying, “My knee hurts again”, simply dwell on the fact that the rest of your body is in good condition and that you feel well otherwise. If you get a C on a particularly test, instead of chastising yourself for being “dumb”, dwell on your other good grades and think about all the things you do well.
All this doesn’t happen immediately. It takes practice to avoid negative thoughts and turn from being a negative thinker into a positive thinker. You might even consider helping yourself along by reading some of the world’s greatest positive thinking books, like Normal Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, a true classic, or 1001 Reasons to Think Positive by Ella Patterson.
At the end you that day, you have one life to live. You can decide what to focus on positive or negative. The choice is yours. One thing is for sure, positive thinking ALWAYS produces better results.
Tags: Avoid Negative Thoughts, Negative Thinking
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Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
Everyone has held a grudge at one time or another or has harbored bad thoughts about a friend or family member who “did us wrong.” For some, these grudges are short lived. Others deal with life-long feelings of resentment towards the person that insulted or offended them, making it uncomfortable to be near them or even hear their name.
We’ve also heard the other side of the story…the power of forgiveness. There’s the Amish community in Pennsylvania who promptly forgave the man who gunned down several of their innocent children, the families who’ve forgiven the drunk drivers that killed their loved ones, or even individuals who forgave criminals for the rape or murder of a family member. Those are true acts of compassion that some of us are hard-pressed to understand. Yet those who practice the power of forgiveness see these as normal and expected.
Experts point out, however, that forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the behavior. It merely provides the opportunity to unload a lot of pent up resentment and other ill feelings, generally resulting in a significant reduction in anxiety for the forgiver. Fred Luskin, PhD, director of Stanford University’s Forgiveness Project and author of Forgive for Good, performed a study in which he discovered that forgiving someone for their transgressions can reduce the forgiver’s stress level by as much as 50 percent.
Similar studies show that forgiving reduces chronic back pain and limits relapses in those who are battling substance abuse. In contrast, harboring resentment increases adrenaline and cortisol levels. Consistently increased levels of these chemicals can cause all sorts of health problems including cell atrophy, memory loss, high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, hardening of the arteries, and depression. That’s a big price to pay for holding a grudge.
Instead, taking hostile feelings towards a person or persons and converting them to positive ones – aka practicing the power of forgiveness – promotes a feeling of calm and relaxation, Luskin points out. Hence, health improves over the long term and most forgivers even note an immediate feeling of peace once the forgiving words leave their mouth.
You can’t change what happened in the past, experts stress, but you can alter what’s going to happen in the future. Luskin and others that tout the power of forgiveness hold out hope that more people will take the route that allows them to let go of their bitter feelings and permits them to live a more stress-free life in the future.
Tags: Forgivness, The Power of Forgiveness
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Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
I thought that everyone knew what the law of attraction was. However, there are many folks that still don’t.
So I just want to briefly explain it at a very 101 level for those of you that have never heard of it.
While eons ago the Law of Attraction referred to romantic relationships, these days, it’s taken on a new meaning. In self-development circles, the Law of Attraction refers to the belief that “like attracts like” or “you get what you believe in.” Other proponents of the Law say: “That which is like unto itself is drawn.”
Made popular by an Australian movie called “The Secret”, which was later made into a book and audio-book and has sold more 16 million copies in 40 languages, the Law of Attraction lets individuals know that “every human being has the ability to transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance.” Author Rhonda Byrne wanted her audience to know that “we create our lives, with every thought every minute of every day.” The more dominant the thought grows, the more powerful it will become.
In short, we attract those things in our life that we focus on, say Byrne and other promoters of the Law, and as teachers, these individuals strive to make followers understand that there are three required steps that are the essence of the Law of Attraction.
1. Ask – Know what you want and ask the universe for it.
2. Believe – Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.
3. Receive – Be open and fully ready to receive it.
The principals of the Law of Attraction also state that thinking of what one DOES NOT HAVE manifests itself in not having. However, if one follows the three steps listed above and avoids any and all negative thoughts, the universe will manifest a person’s desires.
Anyways, this is a very broad stroke and there are many teaching around the law of attraction. However, the overall concept is very basic.
Now, that you understand the concept begin putting it to work in your life. The best way to learn more would be to watch “The Secret,” which will really drill into the teaching of the law of attraction.
Start manifesting…
Tags: The Law of Attraction, What is "The Law of Attraction?"
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Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
Recently, I have had a lot of questions about SMART goals and what they are. So I’d like to resolve that right now…
When it comes to goals and goal setting, the word “SMART” means more than just wise or insightful. Lately, the word has been used as an acronym for five words that experts see as essential for good goal setting, hence the term SMART goals.
Indeed, following these steps, represented by the letters in the word SMART, will put you on your way to achieving those all-important, life-changing SMART goals, whether they pertain to your business life or your professional life.
“S” stands for SPECIFIC. Professional development experts stress that in order to achieve a goal, it needs to be specific, not general in nature. As you consider your SMART goals, you’ll want to ask the all-important “w” questions, including why, when, where, what, and who? For example, your goal may be “Get healthier” but, more specifically, you should state specifics like “Lose 20 pounds, join a health club, and take a healthy cooking class.”
“M” stands for MEASURABLE. Make sure you can measure your progress towards your SMART goals as you get closer to its attainment. Measuring allows you to stay on track and stick to your target date.
“A” stands for ATTAINABLE. Develop ways to make your goals reachable. This may involve changing some habits and stretching to the point where you’re out of your comfort zone. But in the end, you’ll be proud of your accomplishments. Remember, you are worthy of all the goals you set.
“R” stands for REALISTIC. Lofty goals – like “I’m going to make a million dollars next year” – are fun to dream about, but they set some people up for failure and aren’t SMART for everyone, so to speak. Carefully consider each goal before writing it down and be sure that you truly believe you can accomplish it by examining what conditions must exist in order to achieve the goal.
“T” stands for TIME. Put a time limit on your goals, otherwise you’ll have no urgency in working towards them. For example, if you want to save $500 for a vacation, write down the date you must do so by in order to book the trip.
Hope this answers all your questions about SMART goals.
Tags: SMART goals
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Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
Why Set Goals?
It’s amazing to me that most people still don’t understand the importance of interactive goal setting…
Interactive because you are consistently tweaking and measuring your goals as you march forward.
Experts in organization and motivation all preach similar mantras about goals. It goes something like this: “A wish is just a wish until you write it down. Then it’s a goal.” And Eleanor Roosevelt said “It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”
So why not make goal setting a priority in your life?
All successful entrepreneurs and other business people understand that setting goals is important and that writing down a goal puts a time-line on it, allowing goal-setters to reach for specific aims rather than general ones. Studies show that those who write down their goals are far more successful than those who don’t do so. As a matter of fact, a recent Harvard Business School study, which focused on individuals with similar backgrounds and educations, demonstrated that 3 percent of that study group could be described as very successful, 30 percent as moderately successful, and the other 67 percent not at all successful. Why? The 3 percent had written down specific goals while the second-largest group had some goals but hadn’t put them on paper. The 67 percent hadn’t bothered to even think about goals for their life, either personally or professionally.
Setting goals gives you a clear picture of where you’re headed. Each time you write down a goal, you need to examine whether or not it conflicts with other life goals, why it’s important to you, how you’ll achieve it, and what impact its achievement will have on your life. Also consider what stumbling blocks may be in your way in reaching this goal and think about ways to overcome them.
If you’ve never set goals, begin with easy things – like losing a few pounds, cleaning that messy room in your house, or visiting a sick relative more often. Write down the steps toward achieving each. As you progress through the steps, think about making other goals that may work in tandem with the one’s you’re currently working on.
The results speak for themselves and before you know it, you’ll be setting goals for all aspects of your life including those related to career, relationships, heath and fitness, hobbies and recreation, and personal growth.
Tags: set goals
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