The Power of Forgiveness
Everyone has held a grudge at one time or another or has harbored bad thoughts about a friend or family member who “did us wrong.” For some, these grudges are short lived. Others deal with life-long feelings of resentment towards the person that insulted or offended them, making it uncomfortable to be near them or even hear their name.
We’ve also heard the other side of the story…the power of forgiveness. There’s the Amish community in Pennsylvania who promptly forgave the man who gunned down several of their innocent children, the families who’ve forgiven the drunk drivers that killed their loved ones, or even individuals who forgave criminals for the rape or murder of a family member. Those are true acts of compassion that some of us are hard-pressed to understand. Yet those who practice the power of forgiveness see these as normal and expected.
Experts point out, however, that forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the behavior. It merely provides the opportunity to unload a lot of pent up resentment and other ill feelings, generally resulting in a significant reduction in anxiety for the forgiver. Fred Luskin, PhD, director of Stanford University’s Forgiveness Project and author of Forgive for Good, performed a study in which he discovered that forgiving someone for their transgressions can reduce the forgiver’s stress level by as much as 50 percent.
Similar studies show that forgiving reduces chronic back pain and limits relapses in those who are battling substance abuse. In contrast, harboring resentment increases adrenaline and cortisol levels. Consistently increased levels of these chemicals can cause all sorts of health problems including cell atrophy, memory loss, high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, hardening of the arteries, and depression. That’s a big price to pay for holding a grudge.
Instead, taking hostile feelings towards a person or persons and converting them to positive ones – aka practicing the power of forgiveness – promotes a feeling of calm and relaxation, Luskin points out. Hence, health improves over the long term and most forgivers even note an immediate feeling of peace once the forgiving words leave their mouth.
You can’t change what happened in the past, experts stress, but you can alter what’s going to happen in the future. Luskin and others that tout the power of forgiveness hold out hope that more people will take the route that allows them to let go of their bitter feelings and permits them to live a more stress-free life in the future.
MySpace
Facebook
Twitter
